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Bullying and Verbal Abuse From and To Customers

You may not know that bullying and verbal abuse from customers comes from two "places". First, customers will sometimes lapse into more childish behavior because they are emotionally upset, and when that happens people revert to more childlike aggressive behavior. Second, bullying and verbal abuse are used by some customers to get something to which they are not entitled. A smokescreen, if you will, for illegal or fraudulent actions. In both cases, there are methods and techniques customer service reps can use to a) defusine the anger, or b) send the message that the verbal abuse is NOT going to help the person get his or her own way.

There's more. The first reason for verbal attacks applies to you too. When YOU get angry, you will tend to become more aggressive and less composed, and you may slip into ways of dealing with the problem that are more bully-like. The result is never good.

The more you understand verbal abuse, the more you will be able to prevent being bullied by customers, and avoid using the same tactics in return.

In this section you'll find information about using words as weapons, and the bullying process.

We have two books that can help you, If It Wasn't For The Customers, I'd Really Like This Job, and Defusing Hostile Customers Workbook. Both will teach you the skills and knowledge you need to defuse anger, verbal abuse and bullying and recognize and take constructive action with customers who are trying to put on over on you.

For more on understanding the anger of customers, check out our our free interactive seminar on dealing with difficult customers.

Bullying, Verbal Abuse and Customer Service

Identifying Subtle Verbal Abuse Helpcard - Preview - by Robert Bacal
The first step in dealing with verbal abuse is recognizing it is occurring, so you can surface the problem, and take action with the other person. That's that this card is about. It lists about 15 verbal abuse tactics that are often used in relationships of all kinds that contribute to you dissatisfaction with the interactions. Now you can identify more clearly why you feel attacked in situations where the attacks are below the surface. (Added: 6-May-2003 Hits: 1245 )

Workplace bullies cause the advent of 'desk rage' - 2002-07-15 - Charlotte Business Journal - by Michelle Hofmann
Points out the possible link between workplace bullying and abuse, "desk rage", and workplace violence, and includes some references to research on the subject. (Added: 2-Jun-2004 Hits: 1123 )

Are You Being Emotionally Abused? - by NA
The married couple worked together as partners in their store, but their partnership definitely was not equal. He called her stupid in front of employees, blew up when she made mistakes and kept her in the dark about their finances. He also pushed her around a couple of times. (Added: 15-May-2003 Hits: 693 )

Seven Steps to Protect Your Employees From Customer Verbal Abuse - by Robert Moment
As a mindful employer you should be willing to take steps to prevent your employees from customers who are verbally abusive. Learn the basic steps. This article is also recommended for employees who are subjected to customer abuse so that they can recommend these steps to their employers. (Added: 12-Mar-2010 Hits: 740 )

UNDERSTANDING WORK ABUSE - by Judith Wyatt
Work abuse" is the brutalizing and dehumanizing of a person through patterned ways of interacting at work. This includes systematic denial that emotional abuse is happening. The interactions are determined by a "work culture"--a set of unconscious rules, or "norms," about how things are done, what is allowed or not allowed, and what is, or is not, faced openly and talked about. (Added: 6-May-2003 Hits: 1045 )

What To Do When Your Best Customer Is a Bully - by na
As more and more companies strive to make their operations "lean and mean," you increasingly face the risk of a major customer becoming a corporate bully.""The bully customer believes all success in business comes from "buying low and selling high, collecting early and paying late." Your bully customer demands ever better pricing, longer payment terms, better quality, and better service with the sinister threat that you'll lose their business if you won't give them exactly what they want. They want what is good for them with complete disregard for the impact on you or your business. (Added: 1-Dec-2009 Hits: 628 )

My Client is a Bully! - by na
If your clients are all wonderful, kind, understanding folks, then you might want to read this hub just in case one of them pulls a Jekyll and Hyde...""We all have our fair share of "difficult" clients. Some want constant updates, some don't pay their bill on time, others are hard to get in touch with, but rarely does a client exist who is just plain mean, a bully. I had a client who was very friendly, willing to work with me, seemed to trust my judgment, and everyone in his office that I dealt with was the same way. We had a great working relationship for over a year, until one cloudy, wintry afternoon, everything changed.""This client approached me and told me he had a large project coming up. It's always nice to be forewarned so as to plan ahead. When the project finally arrived, it was twice the size he had originally promised. Wanting to please him, I scrambled to find enough help in order to complete twice as much in the same amount of time. We got an early start and were working ahead of our usual pace. (Added: 30-Mar-2011 Hits: 175 )

The Ethical Vacuum and Workplace Abuse - by Cedric Johnson
Workplace abuse does not occur in a vacuum. Nor does it develop suddenly. There is a slow erosion of life-affirming values to the point where abuse in the workplace is viewed as normal. (Added: 4-Sep-2003 Hits: 1277 )

Unrest on the Job: Has 'Desk Rage' Hit Your Co-workers? - by Denise Mann
Whether it's brushing by someone in the hall, calling your assistant incompetent, or cutting someone in line for the fax machine, corporate rudeness takes its toll. Here are some hints about dealing with the issue. (Added: 17-Apr-2006 Hits: 918 )

Effects of Bullying - Bully Types - by na
A lot of this is more pop psychology than anything else but there's some nice explanations of "bullying" types and words. Caution advised when reading lay people who use psychological terms. (Added: 30-Mar-2011 Hits: 161 )

My Customer is a Big Bully! HELP! | BNET - by Geoffrey James |
’ve been reading your posts about not being afraid of customers. But I’ve got a customer who clearly likes beating people up — figuratively speaking. He yells at his staff and he yells at me and I guess he probably yells at everybody else too. I hate calling on him, but my management insists that its my account and I ahve to deal with it. What should I do? (Added: 30-Mar-2011 Hits: 169 )

Are You Being Bullied At Work? - by n a
“People who are bullied are 50 percent more likely to miss work from doctor-certified illnesses than those who are not bullied. Bullying poisons the work environment to such an extent that even people who work near it, but are not directly involved, are 9 percent more likely to miss work from illness,” says Mika Kivimaki, senior researcher in the University of Helsinki’s psychology Department, who conducted a study about bullying in the workplace. (Added: 17-Apr-2006 Hits: 990 )

What To Do When Client or Coworker Is a bully | The Kamaron Institute - by Margaret Ross
What should you do when an adult customer or colleague acts like a bully on the playground? How to change your reaction to workplace bullies to change the result. %u2013 Margaret Ross"Unfortunately, you didn't leave all of the bullies on the playground in junior high. They still exist, only now, they're in fully adult form."Some of the bullies come in the form of customers, and these are not so affectionately known as "business bullies," or BBs. They can be sarcastic, difficult, and demanding, and they think the world revolves around them. They are the adult equivalent of the kid who pushes others around on the playground, with you as the target. Dealing with them can leave you feeling like you're all alone and vulnerable. But especially if the BB is a customer, you have to learn to deal with the business bully because the success of your business can depend on it. You have to learn in the necessary skills in order to be able to handle him. At the same time, if you do so you can model the proper behavior for others you work with so they can learn to handle these BBs, too. If you do so properly, this can only help your business. (Added: 30-Mar-2011 Hits: 193 )

WORK ABUSE: THE MISSING LINK TO CHILD ABUSE - by Judith Wyatt
This paper is an invitation to you the reader to assist us with a difficult task--confronting our own denial about the significance of work abuse as a mental health issue. We know that denial is the defense that seals the abuse cycle--whether we are talking about alcohol, sexual abuse, or battering. (Added: 6-May-2003 Hits: 816 )

The Last Bullying Frontier | Psychology Today - by Guy Winch
Bullying of LGBT youth has received well deserved attention over past months and raised public awareness about every other societal manifestation of bullying-except one.""There is one group that contends with bullying with alarming regularity and although no lives have been lost as a result, the psychological, emotional and financial consequences of their bullying is staggering in scope. They are-call center representatives.""Call-center representatives are the people who answer the phone when we call customer service or municipal hotlines to report problems, make complaints, or request technical support. They are entry level employees who receive a few weeks of training before being deployed to the front lines of their industry where they encounter an impatient and highly aggressive public. (Added: 2-Apr-2011 Hits: 81 )

12 Tips For Dealing With Bully Customers | Bully Free at Work - by Valerie Cade
What if the bully is your customer? What can you do to help calm down and re-direct obnoxiousness from a customer? Best-selling author Rebecca Morgan gives us her Top 12 Tips for dealing with bully customers."%u201CIn my seminars and interviews based on my best-selling book Calming Upset Customers, I%u2019m often asked to give guidelines for handling these stress-producing encounters. The following offers some general thoughts for you and your staff.%u201D (Added: 30-Mar-2011 Hits: 133 )

Focus On: Bullying at work - by Alison Wallace
Discusses the costs of workplace bullying in terms of dollars, and the hidden costs or reduced productivity and morale. Includes a definition of bullying, employer obligations, remedies and practical steps. (Added: 2-Jun-2004 Hits: 851 )

What to Do When a Customer is a Bully - by Bradford Shim
Have you ever had a customer who tried to bully you? Chances are pretty good that you have. Sometimes, it doesn’t look like bullying. But think of what a bully does. He tries make you do something that you don’t want to do, like give him your lunch money. So really, any time a customer pressures you to do things outside your normal operating procedure, there is the potential of bullying going on. (Added: 30-Mar-2011 Hits: 200 )

Do You Work For a Bully Boss? - Industry Trend or Event - by Anita Chabria
Focusing on harrassment and bullying on the part of managers, this article poses the question: Is bullying from managers an industry trend in "new economy", IT settings? (Added: 2-Jun-2004 Hits: 608 )

Is Your Boss a Bully? - by Esther Derby
Unfortunately, some bosses are bullies, and treat employees in abusive ways. Learn a few basic techniques for dealing with bosses who have gone in this direction. (Added: 31-May-2004 Hits: 1121 )

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